Official Rumors

Upcoming Blogbook...

2008-05-13T09:35:00.000-07:00

I came up with an idea this morning, and I'm sure it's been done somewhere, but I'm doing it anyways. Coming soon will be the first installment of an ongoing soap opera/ web comic/ blog story type thing. It will cover several "posts" and will be a way of writing/illustrating some short stories I want to create, using a newly-created blog (linked to this one). It will feature entirely original art and will be called "White guy/Black shirt." I know what you're thinking, but despite the obvious reference to me, this will not be autobiographical. The story will be told using a combination of 'devices' such as the author's diary/sketchbook and postcards he's written and received from others. There may also be an interactive element that allows the audience (you) to affect the storyline. Here's a brief outline of the chapters:

White guy/black shirt
• Forlorn and 7 years to go
• How to date a Jazz Singer
• The house of 9's
(working titles right now)

News and updates as to this project and its launch can be found right here.
As always, feedback is great.

Reintarnation'...

2008-05-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

So I'm looking for an extra little side job that would be 90% fun and 10% extra cash. Here are my ideas so far (seriously):

• DJ at a club for 80's night or at a karaoke bar
• Announcer for the Seattle all-girls' roller derby league
• Street performer in Pike's Place market (my act would consist of musical instruments made from kitchen untensils, and I could sing old "rat pack" songs)
• Write that book I've been "working on" in my head.
• DJ at a yoga studio (another idea I've been working on)

I'll let you know how that works out...

Hello Kiddie...

2008-04-29T07:43:00.001-07:00

My sister is going in to the hospital tomorrow to induce labor for her new baby. For the last 9 months I haven't been able to recall the name they picked out, but this morning I learned why: I was never told what the new girl's name was. That's because it's being kept a secret until the kid is born. So child #4 will pop out tomorrow and the mystery name will be revealed to all. Check the poll to the right, since there's still time to cast your vote!

I Believe...

2008-04-16T07:31:00.000-07:00

This week, Jenn's Grandfather passed away.
In a very small family, he was a very large figure to all of us. He could take over a room. But he was always there for us, even at times when we felt we didn't need him to be. Now, I don't think anyone can remember a time when we didn't need him. He should know, however, that his influence lives on in his entire family. We are where we are because of him. He's shaped this family, and if you knew him, you'd be able to see a little of him in all of us.
Remembering him will never be difficult.
Being without him will.

Earnest Denford McPhaill 7/16/1919 - 4/13/2008

Gift sausage from the mall...

2008-04-11T09:35:00.000-07:00

I hope to spend most of my weekend outdoors. I really need to start taking advantage of my local environment and hitting the parks and hiking trails. However, I know for a fact that I will look a little out of place with the other 'outdoorsy-types.' They all have special equipment, like official hiking boots, camelback water supplies, hiking pants, those fancy walking sticks, light-weather "North Face" jackets, etc. Whether they hike, bike, run, climb, etc. they are prepared and will do so in style.

Here's my equipment load-out for this weekend:
• Jeans (the one with the hole in the thigh)
• Shoes (I did buy new hiking shoes...)
• Hockey Stick (just like those fancy custom aluminum walking sticks, only you can hack and slash stuff with this)
• Gatorade
• Some type of candy
• Swiss army sniper jacket (looks very ugly, but the coolest, most versatile jacket ever. No L.L. Bean or North Face jacket will ever come close. EVER!)
• HK USP .40 (for bears, mountain lions, wolves, mexicans -- whatever poses a threat)
• Extra ammo (just in case)
• Binoculars (to watch birds, people)
• Trenching tool (one of those small, military shovels. Used more as a weapon)
• Nintendo DS (in case I get lost or bored)
• Flashlight (looks cool, seems logical)
• Gift sausage from the mall (how can I go wrong?)

That should do it. A compass and a radio won't do me any good, and I don't want to over-pack.

Unseen Lurkers be known...

2008-04-08T18:39:00.000-07:00

So I'm trying to gauge how many readers I actually have, and I know I have more 'readers' than 'posters.' Come on now, let's have a de-lurking day. If you're reading this post or even visit this blog once a year, let's hear it. Leave a comment and show your allegiance to Official Rumors. Come on. It's Wednesday.

Ask Baphomet...

2008-04-07T13:05:00.000-07:00

By Official Rumors freelance columnist Baphomet

Dear Baphomet,
Monster.com is supposed to be one of the major job sites around, but I never have any luck with them. What's the deal?
yours,
-Jill

Dear Jill,
As people often confuse me with being mentioned in the ancient scripts of the Templars, or even as a mininterpretation of the name Mahomet (Muhammad), they also do when it comes to Monster.com. I cannot figure out for the life of me what they do to help the common man (woman, as is the case here) with finding a job. First of all, as a rule, I never use them. They are heavily advertising-driven, which means they use "web-statistics" as viable data to earn ad dollars. What this means is, the goal of Monster.com is NOT to find you a job, but to sell ads/services and get paid! They want to get as many users as possible to register and search for jobs, so that they can demand a higher ad price.
This has led them to employ some shady and unethical practices. For example, they post a lot of "jobs" that aren't legit. They're fake. But that increases the value of their service to YOU, which in turn, increases your activity on their site. Which ultimately makes their advertisers happy.
As a service to their "paying clients" (companies that post jobs) they will also send them your info. And trust me, when I registered, I unchecked every box I could find about circulating my info and I STILL get spam from companies that got my info from Monster.com! Plus, half of the jobs I applied for are listed as "company confidential." What the hell?! How does that help anyone?
Anyhoo, I would recommend using a different website entirely if you are looking for a job. The local newspaper is still a decent source, even in this age of internet-technology. Hope this helps!

It is by my very will that you draw breath,
-Baph!

The finer things club...

2008-04-04T16:39:00.000-07:00

Then she appeared, apple venus on a half open shell
Then she appeared, the first photograph on Fox Talbots gel
I was a little frightened
Flying with my senses heightened
Cherubim cheered
Then she appeared
Then she appeared, as the giggling crew of Marie Celeste
Then she appeared, pale Atlantis rising out of the west
I was a little dazzled
Catherine wheeled and senses frazzled
Know it sounds weird
Then she appeared
And the sun which formally shone
In the clearest summer sky
Suddenly just changed address
Now shines from her blue eyes
Then she appeared, brittle shooting star that dropped in my lap
Then she appeared, dressed in tricolour and phrygian cap
I was a little troubled
Hookah with my senses bubbled
All Edward leared
Then she appeared
And the moon which formally shone
On the marbled midnight mile
Suddenly just packed its bags
Now shines from her bright smile
Then she appeared
Out of nowhere

What gets checked, gets done...

2008-04-04T09:25:00.000-07:00

My demands are simple.

Busted Leggy...

2008-03-19T20:27:00.000-07:00

Here is the verdict on my nephew "D." Spiral fracture in his tibia after falling out of a shopping cart. Anyways, let's all wish him a speedy recovery.

Grosse Pointe Blank...

2008-03-18T08:21:00.000-07:00

I just...NEED...to see this movie again. It's my own form of therapy.

Leprechaunukkah...

2008-03-17T09:10:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's THAT day! The day in which we celebrate St. Patrick driving the "snakes" (metaphor for pagans) out of Ireland.
Also, happy birthday to Colin and Jeff!

UPDATE: The Wilde Rover was a bust, so I did nothing for St. P's. Also, this is a holiday on two fronts:

1. Frat boys who wear beads-- these guys just want an excuse to drink, plain and simple.

2. The real Irish-- this holiday is one of pride and shame. Disloyalty/secession from the crown of England, car bombs (the kind made with C4, not Guinness), Michael Collins and Darby O'Gill (the Disney movie from the 50's that is still the national movie of Ireland). This day is kind of like Mardi Gras-meets-the-Kent-state-shooting-tragedy, all rolled into one.

Indiscipline...

2008-03-10T19:54:00.001-07:00

I do remember one thing.
It took hours and hours but...
By the time I was done with it,
I was so involved, I didnt know what to think.
I carried it around with me for days and days...
Playing little games
Like not looking at it for a whole day
And then... looking at it.
To see if I still liked it.
I did.

The more I look at it,
The more I like it.
I do think its good.
The fact is...
No matter how closely I study it,
No matter how I take it apart,
No matter how I break it down,
It remains consistant.
I wish you were here to see it.

I like it.

So again, I work in the gaming industry...

2008-03-09T19:13:00.000-07:00

My boss gave me a homework assignment over the weekend. It's a good thing I didn't put any of my high school teachers down as references when I applied for this job, or my boss would have discovered that I don't care much for homework. Anyways, my boss is a businesswoman, through and through. She's sees numbers in everything. She's a numbers gal. And she loves to read. Needless to say, she reads books about business. So she handed me this book on friday about building brands, and marketing them. I realize this is good information, but I can see a couple of problems up front:

1. Can I apply this business sense, written by a guy who branded life insurance and investments at John Hancock, to the gaming industry? I mean, I work with wizards and aliens and robots and the like.

2. I don't like to read all that much.

Lucky for me the author (we'll call him Mr. Biz) made a fatal flaw in his book. I'll refer to page 3, where he says "...the single most important thing you need to know when building a brand is..." and he gives the answer right then and there. Now I don't have to read the rest of the book!! This is a real time-saver, especially when Ghostbusters is on tv. (Note: I don't remember what that 'thing' is he mentioned, but I just have to go back to page 3. Thanks Mr. Biz!)

Gary Gygax, Creator of D&D, fails last save...

2008-03-08T08:10:00.000-08:00

By Official Rumors Contributing Editor Bjorn Eriksson

Growing up in Somalia, it's hard to escape the harsh reality of plague, starvation and war. But wouldn't those things be cooler if "Plague" were a 2nd level spell you could cast, and the war you fought each day were against Goblins armed with axes? That's what first got me into Dungeons & Dragons. For me, I have dedicated my entire fictional life to Mr. Gary Gygax, who sadly passed away this week. As a boy, I would take my weekly allowance of rice down to my local game store (I believe you call them "Red Cross Supply Depots") and would dive right into an adventure that would take me far away from the troubles of real life.
While my brother Tony and his friends would shoot down US Blackhawk Helicopters that were supposed to be bringing us food, my friends and I would explore haunted ruins filled with Trolls and Warlocks. My brother never had time for D&D, in fact, never had time for ME! We were never close. But in Somalia, family is all you have, and I would look for anything that he and I could have in common. Then one day, while preparing for a raid on a UN Peacekeeping patrol, my brother picked up one of my Dungeons & Dragons Player Handbooks. I saw his face light up when he realized that he could play a rebel fighter that actually wears armor! And even better, this game had RPG's! From that day on, things were better between Tony and I. We had a language we could both speak, be it "Role-Playing Games" or "Rocket-Propelled Grenades," the RPG world would be a place we could BOTH fight! Thank you Mr. Gygax, you've made my tiny village of "Red Zone Alpha-Six-Zero" a more enjoyable place.

Nature is Ancient...

2008-03-02T19:45:00.000-08:00

It's wet in the middle
with a shell around it
it's called life

It goes wherever it wants to
don't try to predict it
then you'd offend it
it's meant to surprise

Nature is ancient : but surprises us all
Nature is ancient : but surprises us all

Rescue me
from level-head-ness
and the unnecessary luxury of being calm

Nature is ancient : but surprises us all
Nature is ancient : but surprises us all

She's got dark hairs on her head
blonde on her arms
she sneaks up from behind
come on, you deserve it!

For Tom Kohler, who will totally appreciate this as much as I did...

2008-02-28T22:35:00.000-08:00

Zinc Oxide and You...

2008-02-28T15:33:00.000-08:00

A Pirate's life for me...

2008-02-28T09:02:00.000-08:00

Yaaarrr! I've been hired as the Marketing Coordinator for Privateer Press (www.privateerpress.com).

Satyr Tots...

2008-02-26T08:37:00.000-08:00

Last night I watched 'Inside the Actors' Studio' with John Cusack (who is awesome). At the end of each show, host James Lipton asks each guest the same set of questions. The questionnaire concept was originated by French television personality Bernard Pivot, after the Proust Questionnaire. Now, I believe I've posted this questionnaire before, but I'm willing to bet that my answers have changed from so long ago so I'm doing it again:

• What is your favorite word? Chaos.

• What is your least favorite word? Problem.

• What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Being unemployed (having lots of time on my hands)

• What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Routine.

• What sound or noise do you love? Thunder.

• What sound or noise do you hate? Traffic.

• What is your favorite curse word? Motherfucker (it's part of the show, mom)

• What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Chef.

• What profession would you not like to do? Carpenter.

• If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "Your table is ready."

Reggae Mortis...

2008-02-25T09:17:00.000-08:00

People in Seattle have this thing about using 'permanent' grocery bags. They're the kind made out of canvas or something that you reuse all the time. Here, grocery stores either give you a discount if you bring your own bag and some of them stopped supplying paper or plastic completely.
I agree that plastic bags are just awful. You can't even really reuse them for anything, except picking up dog crap. I suppose you can carry your lunch in them or something, but then you just look like you are carrying dog crap around, which is not a good look. Best case scenario, you pretend that you've packed dog crap for your lunch.

I went to the "Lib"...

2008-02-22T16:42:00.000-08:00

So we went to the Library the other day. I hadn't set foot in one in over 15 years. Why on earth would I? I don't have any papers to write, I have the internet at home now, and any books that are any good already have TV shows made for them (or soon will).

Apparently, Libraries have to keep up with the times, or be swallowed by them. For instance, they decided to put their entire card catalog onto computers. Which is great, except that it doesn't change the fact that they still didn't have any of the books I wanted. True, computers are supposed to better manage their inventory, track what books are where, etc. but fat chance. Here are the searches I did, and their results:

Search: The King in Yellow
Result: MISSING (wtf?!)

Search: Great Exploration Hoaxes
Result: Check Shelf (I checked the shelf already. That's what you do when you want to find a book. IT WASN'T THERE!)

Search: Dracula, unabridged, Bram Stoker
Result: Dracula 2000 (VHS) due back 2/28/08

Search: Vegetables
Result: Did you mean "Veggie-Tales"?

Come on, you cankers. Don't make Mamma beg.

Checklist...

2008-02-22T09:25:00.000-08:00

We like to do things the "unemployed" way around here. Feel free to print this checklist if you'd like to try this at home.

[ ] Crappy black T-shirt
[ ] 3rd cup of coffee
[ ] Coffee mug from weird, artsy 80's tv show
[ ] 'Forgot' to shave for a week
[ ] Internet connection (courtesy of the neighbors)
[ ] Decent cache of wheat thins and gatorade (staying healthy is important, kids!)
[ ] Birds on the feeder

Job Title...

2008-02-21T09:58:00.001-08:00

Well, the votes are in and thanks to all who participated. Seems like most of you made the sensible decision to invest wisely. You should all start your own companies now. My new temporary job title is "Domestic Engineer." My job is to take care of dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc. It's a job, dammit! Except unlike YOUR jobs, I can't just clock-out at 5pm. I don't have a "quittin' time." Speaking of mothers, my mom has asked me to refrain from using "bad language" on my blog. While I disagree with her reasoning ("it isn't nice, and no one wants to read that") I do agree that I should be setting a better example for my younger readers. So here's an example for you: If Grandma sends you a birthday card with $15 million in it, put it in the bank and invest wisely. Also, don't get into a lawsuit with Lucasfilm. Those guys are serious!

So here's to Moms everywhere! My mom was a stay-at-home-housemom, and there's nothing wrong with that. Just look at how I turned out!

The job hunt continues...

Thanks Natalie, you've made my day...

2008-02-21T08:52:00.001-08:00

This cartoon reminds me of The Aforementioned Markian, who, while we were in collidge (sp?) together had a Dr. Pepper and Little Debbie snack cake for breakfast every single morning. Then he almost became diabetic. Hope you're eating better these days!

New Poll...

2008-02-15T09:05:00.001-08:00

Official Rumors wants answers! Take the poll to your right...

Every hour wounds, the last one kills...

2008-02-13T15:11:00.000-08:00

Ah, here's a bit of the update. I no longer work at Hidden City Games. I am back to square one, unemployed. Yesterday, my 'new employer' let go of 20 people (approx. 23% of their staff). So I just got here, and now I'm out of a job. How did this happen?

1. Hidden City was awarded $15mil worth of investment money. This was probably supposed to last awhile. They spent all of it in three months. Our CEO admitted that no plan was put into place for the money, and no one was policing it.

2. Sales did not meet the projected targets that were set forth for 2007. Therefore, expenditures had to be reduced to the amount of revenue that was actually generated (again, way short of the planned goal). So where's the accountability? The guy who did all the forecasting and sales for 2007 STILL HAS HIS JOB! And his boss and 19 others including myself, don't!

3. Lucasfilm has filed a lawsuit against our CEO's other company (GenCon). http://www.icv2.com/articles/news/12058.html

Qua le fuck?

Off to find a new job...

Long Overdue...

2008-01-28T10:47:00.001-08:00

I know, I know...
Well here's the update:
• Today is a snow day! I'm totally iced in. I can't remember the last time I ever had a snow day. For most of us, it was probably back in high school. I watched cars slide into each other, spin, crash, pile up--from the comfort of my own driveway!
• Vampira died. Check out Markian's comment for more details, but she basically sued Elvira for stealing her act (which Elvira totally did!) but lost the case for some reason. She was 85 when she passed this week.
• Got back from Denver a couple of weeks ago, but will now be heading to California for another show.
• Lots of new birds on my feeders, including one I'm still trying to i.d.

Egg-Noggin'...

2007-12-21T15:14:00.000-08:00

I'm about to pull the plug on my computer for about a week, so I can drive to Seattle, so here's my holiday send-off. Everybody be safe and have fun.

See you in S-town!

The Pork of the Porcupine...

2007-12-18T17:06:00.000-08:00

So I made a bit pot of chili, and I'm eating it, and I notice "damn I'm gettin' fat." But you wouldn't know it by looking at me, because I bought a new sweatshirt at Target for $6. And it's a Large. Seriously, I've been slacking on Yoga and I feel lazy. But with an impending move and a new life on the horizon, there's tons to do in a short amount of time, and I haven't had the chance to go to Yoga. I do still drink Yoga tea and listen to Yoga music, but it's not the same.

You were reading pancakes...

2007-12-10T07:36:00.001-08:00

Help Pancakes!!!!

Happy Birthday 'D'...

2007-12-07T07:14:00.001-08:00

On the left is my nephew Dominic, and today is his birthday! He's somewhere between 5 and 8 years old today! He loves Star Wars and getting beaten-up by his younger sister.

The House of Nine Shadows...

2007-12-06T08:08:00.000-08:00

I watched "The Thin Man" last night (1934 Willam Powell, Myrna Loy). Great movie. Despite not being gay, I can still appreciate the style and flair of the silver screen. Nick and Nora Charles basically throw a fancy dinner party to reveal the murder suspect they've been following. Sounds not-that-great, I know, but I get to watch fancy people drink martinis.

Working from home is just ok. I have the dogs and the birds and lots of coffee, and no one around, but I do get a little antsy from time to time. The biggest problem is the time difference. I talk to my co-workers a lot throughout the day, but they're 2 hours behind. So basically, I start around 8am, and finish around 730 pm (because it's only 530 to them). I've been in on conference calls in the middle of Krogers. I've talked to customers while not wearing pants. It's weird. But I get to look out my window and watch the birds go through their day, which is about as simple as mine, really.

And eventually, the shadows grow long and darken my keyboard and it's quittin' time. Time to put some pants on.

New Poll...

2007-11-25T06:48:00.000-08:00

By Colin's request, we've added a new poll (thanks for the reminder)! Get your votes in now!!

The Great Northwest...

2007-11-21T06:50:00.000-08:00

Well. It seems I'll be writing from the land of rain and trees and mountain lions and bears and fish from now on. Yep, movin' to Seattle. In the short-run, it'll be a nightmare cross-country move (although my sister-in-law seems to do this pretty regularly, with 3 dogs, a turtle and a bird). In the long-run, it'll be awesome. It's a much better environment, all around. For those readers already in the Seattle area-- See you soon!!!

Time & Motion...

2007-11-09T13:34:00.000-08:00

I'll be headed back to Seattle next week for a job interview. How was I to know, when I was last in Seattle back in August, that in 3 months' time I would be out of a job, trying to get a new one, and possibly be living and working back in Seattle by X-mas? The Gods do love their irony.

Sirena...

2007-11-08T14:27:00.000-08:00

The job search is young, but very promising. 2 game companies in Seattle, and here in Memphis it's been FedEx, 3 design studios, the people that own all of Gosset Motors, and some wierd connection with Martha Stewart?! My former co-workers have been great, writing me letters of recommendation, and calling other companies to try to find a place for me. Many thanks for the huge outpouring of support.

And then there's the other kind of support. The kind that comes to me in the form of a singing telegram from India. I shit you not. I'll try to post it on here, but my sister in law basically hired some woman in India to call my on my cell phone (while I was at the car dealership getting it fixed) and to sing and whistle this little tune called "Bobby feel better."

Fantastic!

Wake up...

2007-11-05T07:00:00.000-08:00

My parents have made it home safely from their tour of the country. A great time was had by all, and I'd like to thank them (once again) for being so supportive in times of need. My special way of thanking them is to NOT put their picture up on the internet, because my mom threatened me about it. Instead, here is a video dedicated to Speedbump (Scoochy), their indominable cat.

The Inevitability of Transmutation...

2007-11-01T06:50:00.000-07:00

"Someday, this war will end..."

Well, all unstable things must come to an end. Yesterday, my 4-year career with Games Workshop ended when Sabertooth Games released me due to "the current state of revenue-to-structure imbalance in the parent company." Basically, GW has been bleeding badly for some time now, and Sabertooth won't be hitting its numbers for 2nd quarter, so someone has to be labeled 'expendible.' I guess that's me, although it did come as a shock. My position has been eliminated, through no fault of my own. It hardly seems fair, given that my position helped to support sales, not directly impact them, and not for the parent company. But being the newest member of the 5-person manager team in a 15-person company, I guess I can see it. I can also see that this may not be the end of it for the Sabertooth staff. The situation is a bit dire over there. Oh well, I guess I just have to 'deal with' the poor business decisions of others that have put me in this position. That's business, right? Nothing personal, as they say. Well, no hard feelings (maybe to some, but not to all). I'm sure I can find a place to live in the coming months, and a way to get some kind of health coverage for the prescriptions we need, etc. After all, it's just business. I do have some good opportunities to join up with some of GW's competitors, however...

I'll keep you posted.

All Hallow's Eve...

2007-10-30T08:14:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is Halloween, a holiday that has always been a favorite of mine, but that I haven't done much for in years. This is mostly because I don't have kids to make costumes for or to take trick-or-treating. In addition, I can't go trick-or-treating as an adult (court order) because no one will give me any candy! So my favorite holiday has been a bit of an impass lately. I'm trying to find a way to get involved again.

Harvest moon...

2007-10-28T08:58:00.000-07:00

My parents are coming down this weekend for the first time since we moved down here (actually my mom and sister and family did come down one other time). To my parents, Memphis will seem like outer space. But they really do need to get out more. It's fall, and different birds are showing up to my feeder, including lots more mourning doves (which I like to call Mexican Pidgeons). Exit the migratory hummingbirds, enter the Juncos and Chickadees.
And yes, it's harvest time. Lots of pumpkins and cider and haunted houses, the latter of which I enjoyed last night.

Anyways, back to my parents, who will be staying with us. To stay at my place means you accept the following:
• We have yappy dogs that are high-strung
• I have hundreds of miniatures (monsters, wierdos, zombies, skeletons, etc) that will stare at you at night from their shelves on the wall.
• The coffee maker is working almost around the clock every day.
• The dogs have their own couch (keeps them off of the main couch).
• The neighbors are odd.
• There is always plenty of beer and wine.

I'll post pics of the parents when they get here. They'll be the older folks on this very blog, with the deer-in-the-headlights look.

Podcasting...

2007-10-24T09:27:00.000-07:00

I've been listening to Andi Sexgang's reading of the Bram Stoker masterpiece. Speaking of audio, here's me:

www.pulpgamer.com/2007/10/18/inside-track-033-bobby-stickel-of-sabertooth-games/

The Devil runs a piano bar in L.A. ...

2007-10-09T07:18:00.000-07:00

Relax, have a cigar, make yourself at home. Hell is full of high court
Judges, failed saints. We've got Cardinals, Archbishops, Barristers,
Certified accountants, music critics, theyre all here.
You're never alone, not here you're not. Ok, breaks over...

Hello, Goodbye...

2007-10-08T09:03:00.000-07:00

A bittersweet weekend has prompted this post. Last Friday, our friends J and M gave birth to their first-born. Mother and Pea-pod are doing fine.

Sadly, K's grandfather passed away in Ohio last week. Our condolences to K and S and their families. In addition, Jenn and I lost a dear friend yesterday: Marilyn Lubin lost a long-suffering battle with cancer. I'm of the belief that she's much better off now, no longer fighting a losing battle. I could open up this post to all the reasons that the world is unfair, and that this is proof of either:

a) No god, therefore this is just the nature of life as we know it.
b) God does exist, but he is obviously not interfering in anything he's created, and is only an observer, taking no real responsibility for his 'creation.'

Either answer suits me, but I really don't want the post to disintegrate to this.
It is best to celebrate the good memories that were left behind by those we lost, and to celebrate the new memories we are about to create with the lives we've gained.

"Where is the fisherman, where is the boat,
Where is the keeper in his carrion coat?
Eclipse on the moon when the dark bird flies
Where is the child with his father's eyes?"

Today at work...

2007-10-04T14:39:00.000-07:00

The short story "The Mask" is introduced by an excerpt from Act I, Scene 2d:

Camilla: You, sir, should unmask.
Stranger: Indeed?
Cassilda: Indeed, it's time. We have all laid aside disguise but you.
Stranger: I wear no mask.
Camilla: (Terrified, aside to Cassilda.) No mask? No mask!

Even the Dead have nightmares...

2007-10-02T16:53:00.000-07:00

• Happy birthday to Sarah
• Our condolences to Keith
• Both moms are coming soon...
• Autumn is here and my fantasy football team lost to Jenn's this week.

Typical Saturday...

2007-09-29T08:44:00.000-07:00

Remember that OLD computer game "Oregon Trail"? That was cool.
Anyway, on to more important matters: My Saturday routine...

• Refill bird feeders (hummingbirds are moving out, cardinals are rampant, woodpecker season is approaching).
• Make lots of coffee
• Make some breakfast
• Update blog
• Put on some music
• Peruse the internet
• Consider getting dressed
• Refill coffee
• Flip through some book I haven't read
• Loaf around
• Update my fantasy football team (the Crash Test Bunnies)
• Nothing's on tv
• More coffee
• It's now 11am

Jenn's Saturday routine:
• Get up and go to work

*(this may seem like a cruel act of fate, but i DID make her breakfast this morning, and she's only working a half day).

Live from Seattle...

2007-09-21T06:35:00.000-07:00

As promised, here are some pictures from the Penny Arcade expo in Seattle. Our very own George Hancock took these shots, so thanks to him. I got to play that "Rock Band" video game, which is a cross between Guitar Hero and Karaoke. I perfomed a Stone Temple Pilots song. My score was 100%, but my bandmates absolutely tanked. My good buddy Rachel, from WizKids, is our other Rock Band performer, who sang Pat Benetar. Then I got to pose as Wil Wheaton (formerly of Star Trek: the next generation, currently unemployed). Fun for all. This is what I get paid to do.

Happy Birthday Keith...

2007-09-18T18:55:00.000-07:00

I found this for you. It's my special way of saying 'happy b-day.'

Home. Finally...

2007-09-15T08:50:00.000-07:00

So I went on a 3-day excursion to Madison, Wisconsin. All was well until the flight home, when we boarded our plane at the airport in Atlanta. We're on the runway when a bad thunderstorm delays all flights to the west. The pilot decides to wait... So we get a new flight plan, which will take us down through Mississippi and back up to Memphis. But we don't have enough fuel. So we taxi back to the fuel station to get the extra gas we need to make the extended trip. Lightning hits part of the runway (nowhere near us) and flashes are happening all over as the storm worsens. They can't send the fuel truck out into the lightning storm, so we have to wait for the storm to pass... and we wait... I've now been on this plane, on the runway, for 2 hours (the flight to Memphis takes 50 minutes from ATL by the way). Finally the storm passes, and we get fuel. But now there's a warning light coming on in the cockpit, and we have to get a mechanic crew to check it out. There are none available. So we wait... The crew shows up to fix the problem. We're told that we can get off the plane if we want, but to stay close to the gate in case we're cleared to leave. 2 minutes (and I mean 2 minutes) after a handfull of people get off, the plane (with no announcement) seals the door and leaves the gate. Now we're back on the runway, and after about 3 hours on the plane, we take off!!! Without those people!! We're in the air for about 15 to 20 minutes when the right engine's oil pressure reaches an 'abnormal level.' We turn around immediately, and are forced to land. The people in first class (none of whom bought tickets, but are all upgraded due to points, skyteam memberships, frequent flyer miles, etc) are getting fussy and find the situation 'unacceptable.' There are about 20 of them. So they are given free alcohol, snacks, and who knows what else. The 110 passengers in coach were told only 2 things: Please don't use the forward restroom, as it is for first class passengers only, and we cannot provide any water or snacks or turn on the air conditioner at this time, 'it's just not possible.' Fuck that. People begin to talk of mutiny and rebellion. All this is happening while we're taxiing to the maintenence yard being followed alongside by 2 of those big airport firetrucks! We sit on the plane and wait. We are told that the repairs could take several hours and that "we aren't sure what options we have available." The crew sends its apologies. It's been 5 hours. First class is drunk and happy. The rest of us are devising a scheme. We are told to depart the aircraft. At the gate, they print meal vouchers for $7, and we're told "we don't have another plane, the next flight to Memphis is full, we're not sure if the mechanics have the part needed to fix the engine. Oddly enough, after 6 hours since we first boarded, they found us a plane and scheduled a new flight---in 20 minutes. Jonathan and I grab a stack of meal vouchers ($42 dollars worth) and while we rush to the other gate, begin handing them out to anyone who will take them. Delta didn't give its customers any time to actually use these vouchers, but we wanted to make sure they got redeemed. Lots of Northwest, American Airlines, AirCanada customers enjoyed free food courtesy of Delta last night.
We finally got on our plane, with the same flight crew, and listened to apologies all throughout. The entire experience has come to serve as an example of what NOT to do in a 'customer service' situation. I made it home around 9 last night, about 7 hours after I was supposed to.

Peter Cushing...

2007-09-08T14:44:00.000-07:00

...would like to be added to your list of friends on MySpace.

Everybody cut and paste this and post it on everyone's MySpace accounts. He'd do it himself, but he's dead. Help a guy out.

Elder Gods erased my Buick...

2007-09-08T14:22:00.000-07:00

I thought about what was beneath my pale flesh. It was not blood, tissue, and organs. I was filled with a struggling mass of slime, tentacles, straining hideous chartreuse cat eyes, and great salivating maws with thousands of tongues. I am not human, I am a monster. And the tradition I follow, the path I tread is a very old one. Still asleep, still a haven for the many, many "I's", continually oblivious to the nature of what I am, a machine, as well as I'm equally unaware the very real prison I inhabit.

Watch, my disciples.

Humans cannot progress while burdened with their humanity. They must lose themselves, shed their skin, and become inhuman in order to bear the inky blackish green gnosis; the dark revelation of mind over matter.

Put yourself in the same mental framework as if you were turning a problem over in your head, or trying to fathom where in the world you lost your keys. Not only does this take prolonged and intense concentration, but a willingness to perceive the world through various diverse perspectives. Then a physical act is necessary, giving the sign of the devil with your hand, the drawing of a strange symbol, writing an outline, short story, poem, or painting a picture of the desired alteration in "reality". Then let go of your desire. And the answer, or change, will simply come to you later. I believe that merely writing down one's thoughts, goals, and experiments in a magical journal is magic itself. Formulating what you want and what sorcery you've performed to get it, signals the obscure substance that is in "reality". And then it will manifest.

Another point worth mentioning is to not let the universe push you around, because when you disturb the natural order, the natural order may try to disturb you back. Simply don't let it. If the disturbance is a wholly negative one, become iron and resist its change. Although if the change could be beneficial, then absorb it with ease and fluidity. Remembering yourself, your surroundings, and that you are the rock and reality is the river.

Times of black violet passion - drives of white knuckle fire

This is about changing reality,
This is about changing reality,
This is about changing reality,
This is about changing reality,
This is about changing reality…

Self Annihilation

The destruction of oneself must come before the new self can grow. And it will grow - like a chartreuse fleshed corpse fiend or a worm of dark red phoenix blood. Birth and death and rebirth; there is a cycle which is followed.

Birth

In your head, create the person who you want to be and have that person whisper his intentions over the mental landscape. Those thoughts are slowly becoming more real. Like a muscle, the magician's will needs to work, rest, and then work harder than before.

Death: the high cost of living...

2007-09-07T20:09:00.001-07:00

We just got back from Savannah, GA. Among some other things, we visited the historic town, also known as the "Jewel of the South." I took these at the Bonaventure cemetary, and even got a photo of Johnny Mercer's tomb. Yep, the songwriter. This city, to me, IS the south. At least the good parts of it. And their cemetaries are full of woodpeckers (some of my favorites).

Catharsis...

2007-09-07T17:15:00.000-07:00

clickit.

Tour de Dust...

2007-08-31T06:12:00.000-07:00

Back from Seattle, I now turn around and head to Georgia for a few day's vacation. My travel season is almost to an end. It will be good to be home.
It's still over 100 degrees here (it was 72 in Seattle) and the birds on my feeders are feeling the heat. But as fortune smiles, I have finally won the war against the ants. For weeks, my hummingbird feeders were swarmed by ants, who basically destroyed the rubber tips of the feeders, thus ruining them. So I bought a new feeder. The ants returned. So I bought little ant traps, the kind that "ants are attracted to the bait, and carry it back to the nest, killing the entire nest guaranteed!" The ants returned again. I turned to an aerosol pesticide and sprayed over 70 of them in one sitting. Still they returned, going in and out of the ant traps with little effect. My hummingbirds couldn't drink because the little drink holes had ants going in and out, and the liquid holder was full of drowned ants. Then, one day, the ants were gone. I haven't seen one for 3 days now. Perhaps the traps worked? Perhaps they gave up? Or maybe they performed a strategic fall-back and plan to regroup with larger numbers. Either way, peace has returned to the porch. Nature is back to the imbalance of my favor, with one part of the ecosystem wiped out. Now the hummingbirds have returned, and can now feed and fight each other to the death.
More when I return.

That which does not kill us...

2007-08-22T09:00:00.001-07:00

...makes us stranger!

Vote Know...

2007-08-21T07:43:00.000-07:00

Please take a moment to participate in our poll, located to the far right of your screen. Your honesty is important to us, and the voting will close on Sept. 1st.

Thank you.

-Official Rumors staff

The Price is Fright...

2007-08-21T07:28:00.000-07:00

I've been watching Vincent Price movies that I've recently taped. He's a "fabulous" guy, if you catch what I'm sayin'. I think I'm going to invite him to do some guest spots on my radio show. I know what you're thinking: he's dead. You don't know Vincent Price very well, do you?

Radio, radio...

2007-08-21T07:20:00.000-07:00

I'm off to Seattle in a couple of days! It'll be fun, but it will be far greater to just be home for awhile. So, if I had my own radio show that could be listened to over the internet, would you support me? I'd like to call it either "Post-Modern Prometheus" or "B-side Bistro." I'm submitting a format application to 89.9 WEVL in Memphis, which is a public-supported station that welcomes variety and obscurity. Hope it goes through, as this is a big piece of the puzzle for me.
More upon my return. Thanks for all the great comments everyone has left here in my absence.

Travellin'...

2007-08-14T03:58:00.000-07:00

I'm on the road to Indy and Seattle this week. Almost done with my travel season, which is good because I have a lot of stuff I want to do at home. See you all when I return.

I am Jack's smirking revenge...

2007-08-06T13:11:00.000-07:00

There's a list you want to be on, and a list you don't.

We are open...

2007-08-05T09:20:00.000-07:00

The Official Rumors Curiosity Shoppe is now open for business. Go buy some stuff. It's probably stuff you need anyway, except now you can show your blog loyalty on it! The URL is to the right of your screen, under 'Links.'

I'll be putting more image options up later.

108 degrees...

2007-08-05T07:56:00.000-07:00

That was the heat index yesterday. Today should be just as bad. It's too hot to go to the pool even. I watched a bug fall out of the sky in mid-flight (not sure if it was a heat-related death or just his time to go) so I'm staying indoors as much as possible. This gives me the opportunity to finally finish a project: Official Rumors merchandise! That's right, soon (wait for my signal) you'll be able to get high-quality merchandise to show your loyalty to this blog! Stay tuned. I promise it'll be worth it.

I make toy soldiers...

2007-08-04T18:24:00.000-07:00

How hard can it possibly be?

"You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream"

Lomo arigato...

2007-07-26T06:26:00.001-07:00

This photo was taken from friend-of-a-friend, Meryl, who is a fellow Akronite. The weapon of choice is a Lomo camera, something I've wanted for a while but keep forgetting about. It's time I got a new hobby, and this might just be it. Aside from the wonky effects it has based on its design, I really love the history of the camera itself. Go read it somewhere. (Sexy note: I do have a Photoshop action that will put a Lomo effect on any image of my choosing. While this is awesome, it excludes the experience of really taking the photo the way it was meant to be taken. Cool plug-in, though).

Thanks to S for the new Interpol (a proper thank you call is pending, I promise) and to D and B for one of the best dinners ever. It really was a good birthday, as Jenn put into perspective for me yesterday. I was also told that birthdays should be a week-long celebration, and if that's the case, mine would end on a great note this friday, when I get to go scootering with the girls!

Birthday!

2007-07-18T05:55:00.000-07:00

Today is my Birthday!

Gravy for Baby...

2007-07-03T20:26:00.000-07:00

For Markian...
( I promise I'm near the end of my youtube kick).

Nature is ancient...

2007-07-03T19:50:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving you with a music video this week.

Happy Birthday...

2007-06-30T08:12:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to Nina, my dad, Millhouse, Sher-bear, Tiffeny and anyone I may have overlooked. This week, I'll be driving to Ohio for another convention, visiting my sister along the way.

Pork Chop Sandwiches...

2007-06-28T21:50:00.001-07:00

Girl from Glasgow...

2007-06-28T21:43:00.000-07:00

I think this chick has it! This is Miss Yoshi, but she lives in Scotland. She's covering Echo & the Bunnymen's "The Killing Moon."

40 hours...

2007-06-26T18:11:00.000-07:00

For most people, 40 hours is a full week's worth of work. For me, it was 4 days in a van driving to and from Philadelphia. That's one long-ass van ride. And with all the people and all the luggage, that's a cramped van ride as well. The occasion was, once again, work. Wizard World is a big comic/media show, and as with all shows, people like to dress in costume. Now most of the costumes were amazing: characters that looked like they walked off the set of Star Wars and whatnot. Some dudes dressed as transformers, ninjas, Jedi, belly dancers, G.I. Joe characters... the list went on. Then there was old gay Spiderman. This guy had a skin-tight, form-fitting Spiderman costume that looked like it was (at one time) movie quality. But there were loose threads hanging everywhere, and this costume may have been form-fitting when he was 10 years younger and 100 pounds lighter. Nowadays, it was REALLY form-fitting!
You can thank me later for not posting a photo.

Balance...

2007-06-12T07:05:00.000-07:00

The word "balance" has seven letters. It is hard to divide evenly. Division has its pros and cons.

Some words before bedtime...

2007-06-07T21:55:00.000-07:00

One eye goes laughing,
One eye goes crying
Through the trials and trying of one life
One hand is tied,
One step gets behind
In one breath we're dying

Shub-Niggurath...

2007-06-07T21:37:00.000-07:00

The Black Goat of the Woods, Mother to the Thousand Young! But enough about my day, how are you all? We've been playing a lot of Arkham Horror lately, and going to Philly next week means we'll have the down-time to play more. I'm kind of dreading a 2-day drive to a city I could care less about. I'd rather be home, indulging in my other hobby: bird watching. I've named the chirpy little cardinal Ygethmor, and the woodpecker Yog-Sothoth.
Last week at yoga, I was the only guy in the class (along with about 12 other women). Now, I've been doing this for a year and a half, and this is only the 2nd time this phenomenon has occurred, but I find it to be surprisingly awkward.
I'm finally motiviated to start painting miniatures again, which is good, since I have over 100 tiny pairs of eyes glaring at me wanting to be painted. Back to the brushes...

So THAT'S what kids eat...

2007-06-02T08:44:00.001-07:00

Buttered noodles. Corn dogs make Nina barf.

Thanks for all the fishmen...

2007-06-02T08:24:00.000-07:00

Vacation time is over. Parents were visited, food was consumed, and dogs petted. And stuff was brought back. Stuff I now have to drill into walls.
Aside from that, being home is good. I went back to yoga, ate some barbeque, drank my favorite coffee.
In recent news:
• S and K are engaged!
• Happy birthday Markian!
• Big Warhammer tournament this weekend!

So has anyone ever had an issue where they talk in their sleep, and wake up just in time to catch themselves? I had this dream where I was talking to a woman from England, but I was having trouble with her accent. I heard myself explain this to her while I woke up. So in reality, I was explaining to the sock monkey in my bed why I couldn't understand him.

Syntax is everything.

What do kids eat...

2007-05-05T11:24:00.000-07:00

I don't have any kids, but my sister does. So therefore I have a neice and 2 nephews. When they do bad or strange things, H says they get it from me. I'm so proud of them. But they live far away and I only get to see them a couple times a year if I'm lucky. Down here I have these kids, Tiffeny's girls (who I call Mah' Girlz). I teach them to say all sorts of cryptic and smarmy things. Today, they're coming over for a cookout at our place, but what the hell do kids eat these days? Corn dogs, would be my guess, but we're also making them buttered noodles and grilled chicken. We'll see how it goes.

(from left to right: Jasmine, Lilee, Nina)

Peter Pumpkinhead...

2007-05-04T07:08:00.000-07:00

Peter Pumpkinhead was too good
Had him nailed to a chunk of wood
He died grinning on live t.v.
Hanging there he looked a lot like you
and an awful lot like me!

Heroes...

2007-05-01T07:02:00.000-07:00

But in the flesh how would it be,
If you could really see
The weaknesses you never knew
Alive and staring back at you?

White guy, black shirt...

2007-04-28T08:55:00.000-07:00

Back from Vegas! Strangely enough, the highlight of the trip was not anything at the show, but the places S and K took me. The Artisan is the most gorgeous hotel with the swankiest bar I've seen. And the hookah lounge has our favorite blend back! I did pick up some cool souveniers, like more black t-shirts for my collection, and some German tanks for my Wehrmacht infantry platoon. I also did a podcast interview that will be broadcast somewhere on the net. I am, however, sick of the sights and sounds of a Vegas casino. It's just non-stop sensory overload, with all the noises, flashing lights, and stale cigarette smoke. Not to mention people who think they're having a good time because they're drunk. All of my best Vegas experiences have happened off the strip.
On another note, our yoga instructor's husband is head chef at a place called "Interim." Definitely in the top 3 favorite places to eat in Memphis. This should be a good weekend, finally being home to enjoy what home is to me.

Kung-fu Kenobi's Big Adventure...

2007-04-22T05:30:00.000-07:00

If you haven't seen Evan Mather's site of little movies, you really should. He's a filmmaker who loves Star Wars action figures. Watch them all. www.evanmather.com

Buena Vista Fight Club...

2007-04-22T05:01:00.000-07:00

Off to Las Vegas.

Update to the thread below...

2007-04-21T13:44:00.000-07:00

• I put a lot of pictures on my blog
• My job has trained me to drink a lot
• I've been to England
• My best friend lives in Japan
• My parents are crazy
• My wife is Jenn
• My biggest critic is my sister, and she's clever as hell
• I love music, but am kind of a music snob.
• I love wine and beer, but am kind of a snob
• My sister-in-law and her boyfriend live in Las Vegas
• I don't have kids, but have 2 dogs
• I'm a graphic designer
• I work for a game company
• I love toy soldiers
• I have a tattoo
• Some of my friends are gay
• I live in Memphis
• I have an art degree

The End

Let's begin...

What's this?

2007-04-21T13:36:00.000-07:00

So I figured that if I was going to overhaul this blog, I should sort of hit the reset button on what's going on. Here's the deal: They started calling me 'Bobby' once I moved down here to the south, from Cleveland, Ohio. This has sort of stuck, which is ironic since my parents called me this when I was a little kid. The result is this:
Friends from home call me 'Bob'
Friends outside of work here in Memphis call me 'Bob'
People at work call me 'Bobby'
People in the industry of my work, but not part of the compay I work for call me 'Robert' because of my work email address.

And I've replaced the picture of me with the 'plant-head', which I'm now adopting as my personal icon bearer. That sculpture is something I made out of stuff in my front yard.
That pretty much brings us up to date. I have the best job in the world, and I get to travel about once a month (see link along the side of this page).

At some point, I feel, my story/career in Memphis will finally end, thus activating my goal of writing a tell-all book of my wild experiences. But until that book comes out, you'll just have to survive on the scraps printed here.

See you on the other side.

Lost in translation...

2007-04-21T13:11:00.000-07:00

So my niece is into these toys, handed down by my sister, called Sylvanians. They're basically little dolls that look like forest creatures. However, she's only 4, and for whatever reason refers to them as 'Albanians.' According to Wikipedia:
"The earliest known inhabitants of Kosovo were called Illyrians by both Greeks and Romans. Albanians today claim to be direct descendants of the Illyrians. Serbian scholars claim that Albanians appeared on the scene in the early Middle Ages as a result of intermarriage between nomadic shepherds and unromanized remnants of Illyrians and Dardanians from Thrace. Tracing such descents is difficult but the people living in the region before the arrival of the Serbs from the North are likely to have some genetic relationships to Albanians, but DNA data would be needed to definitively settle the claim, which in any case is hardly germane to the current conflict. The region was conquered by Alexander the Great 300 years before Christ and became part of the Roman province of Dardania in the 4th century A. D."
This seems to be what my niece was referring to. Apparently, her little bunnies, bears, and beavers have endured the plight of genocide during the 90's. Who knew?
So this brings me to the punchline of this post. My nephew, who is a couple of years older, is collecting Playmobil. A German company hell-bent on manufacturing addictive little action figures and accessories from nearly every genre of humanity, Playmobil also happens to be a hobby of mine. Furthermore, my nephew and I collect the same figures: the Barbarians. I know why I love these particular figures, but by either coincidence or genetic superiority my nephew has fancied these same toys, above all the other Playmobil choices out there. With one exception: he calls his Barbarians "Ovarians." You go, girl!

Treasure trap...

2007-04-21T13:05:00.000-07:00

I wrote down all my dreams, but didn't check the spelling. All my hopes are written in a book I never read.

Radiation ruling the Nation...

2007-04-21T04:50:00.000-07:00

Great news, it looks like I'll be going home over Memorial day weekend. But don't tell mom, it's a surprise for (belated) mother's day. Hopefully she'll recognize me this time. The last time I did this, I showed up for thanksgiving and she stared at me, unable to speak. I just invited myself in and helped myself to some wine at that point.

Anyways, while looking around iTunes, I found that yet again, the perfect name for a band has already been taken: Gay Dad. Now I know what you're thinking, but hear me out-- there is only one other person who finds this as amusing as I do, and he lives in Japan. So forget I brought this up.

Also, we went to Gena's photo show for her master's thesis. Lots of grad students there who were dressed down in the height of fashion, making comments on people's work like "he's doing a lot of great stuff with space lately" or "her paintings have a kind of Stevenson sort of thing going on, very iconic but I like it." I shit you not. People need to learn how to speak at these things. Now, I went to art school, was immersed in this stuff, hung out with people like this, graduated (similarities end here) and then got a job. Keep in mind that at this show, almost no one knew me. So I had me some free cheese and crackers and walked around saying things like "that looks like an octopus" and "that one smells like purple" and "his stuff looks cool, I hope he finishes them." No one made any effort to introduce themselves to me. We were there for Gena, who displayed some lovely photographs of people's houses. She's doing a lot of great stuff with space lately...

The evening just got stranger from there, going out to dinner with lots of "people of the art community" who all talk about art they saw elsewhere or art they're thinking about, but nothing regarding any art they're actually making. I told them of my recent Warhammer army and how I'm going for sort of a woodsy kind of thing. They were all 'interested.' I asked Crystal what kind of army she played and she smiled and pretended it was too loud to hear (it was loud). I figure her for Dark Elves: lots of purple, crazy monsters, witches in bikinis, and loses all the time. I would crush her army like an eggshell.

So I'm off-topic here. The point is, I don't really like most art students, but I can tolerate them if there's free cheese at the event.

A Girl named Whiskey...

2007-04-20T13:38:00.000-07:00

I really hope I get to see Darby O'Gill & the Little People in Vegas.

Man in a suitcase...

2007-04-20T08:36:00.000-07:00

So I'm off to Vegas again next week. This time, to confer with my UK counterpart. Turns out there's some kind of formal evening, so I have to break out the suit of arcane goovy-ness. There is still a lot more I want to do in Vegas, but time is always a factor. At least I get to see S and K again. A note on the last post, the girl pictured is from the Velvet Tango Room site. Who knows who she really is? Then again, I rather enjoy not knowing. In other news, I may have found a Hookah lounge in my own neighborhood here in Memphis.

Anyways, I'll see you all when I get back.

Coat check...

2007-04-09T07:53:00.000-07:00

"When a man has the opportunity to lead an extraordinary life, he has no right to keep it to himself."

Easter descends upon the hungry and damned...

2007-04-07T14:12:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's been a long time since I posted. I'm aware. And I'm sorry.
Anyway, here are the next two appearances I'll be making:
• Las Vegas, April 23-26
• Philadelphia, June 13-19

"I do not want your blood, I can take that from you. I want your Loyalty, for only you can give that to me."
-Nero

Things that have happened since I've last posted:
Markian has moved to Japan (Hiroshima) to spread the divine word and teachings of the English language to those who would find advantage in learning our fine tongue. I've done one vegas trip, in which Sarah's pet finch landed on my shoulder and tried to say something into my ear. I have no idea what it said, and therefore couldn't meet his needs. Canada was deathly cold, minus 11 degrees with the wind (there is ALWAYS wind). St. Patrick's day was fun, with a few friends and even our yoga instructor Amanda stopping by. The kids learned some yoga and watched the grown-ups behaving more like the kids.
Some movie reviews:

"Sideways" A movie about wine snobs and a bachelor party. A bottle of Pinot would have made this movie easier to watch.
"Broken Flowers" Bill Murray is one of my all-time favorites. This movie seemed to be the missing link between 'Rushmore' and 'Lost in Translation' only a little askew. I recommend it.

I've gone to a Neuro-Muscular Therapist for my haunted shoulder. Turns out, my poor posture and computer work is the cause of "severe muscle strain." This sounds much better than "Thoricic Outlet Syndrome" as was first thought, by my friend D who is a massage therapist.

Happy Easter. Remember, this is the day that Jesus rose from the dead, emerged from the cave, saw his own shadow and we had six more weeks of winter.

Monkeys ate my buick...

2007-01-25T16:55:00.000-08:00

Jeez, will you guys shut the hell up already?! Thank you for pointing out the old email address, I've now changed it. Good to know that the e-community will rally together to give me shit.

Anyways, this weekend's activities include: drinking scotch, putting on some "old sad bastard music" and lamenting intangibles like "there is no true form of jazz anymore" or "there are no good pubs/cafès in Memphis" or "I wish I could still hang out with the young and cool kids" or "please let a meteor strike obliterate city hall."

I'm starting to miss the city of Nottingham and the folks I met there, but I don't think a transition to the UK would come easily to me, so I put it out of my mind when I can.

I've seen so many re-runs of "Sex and the City" this week, and I feel an odd paradox: I'm glad to be sharing in the misery of those characters. Thank you for making your problems mine.

I've also found a way to completely shut out the unimportant things in life. If I don't want to worry about the bigger picture of this country, or the fate of humanity, or if my grandkids will have to pay taxes on their health insurance or have to grow up in nuclear fallout, I just change the channel. Instead of watching Bush's state of the union, I'll watch Futurama. Instead of reading the newspaper, I'll paint toy soldiers (so that ultimately, I can send wave after wave of them to their own deaths). This is called "deflection." Or maybe "denial."

Over the next few months, my business will send me:
• back to Canada
• to Las Vegas (twice)
• to the darkest parts of my soul

-b

Council house and violent...

2007-01-17T11:10:00.000-08:00

I'm now back from the UK. Turns out that an English pub that's been opened since the 1400's is prone to rat infestations. Turns out there are a lot of pubs, and the company I work for is fond of drinking. I can now say I've been to historic Nottingham, which does embrace the whole Robin Hood myth/legend/fact.

My routine in England: cab ride/meetings/meetings/meetings/beer/dinner/beer/beer/hotel (repeat ad nauseum)
My routing in Memphis: work/dinner/yoga/tv/sleep

I should drink more.

Disturbance at the pig pen...

2006-12-19T16:44:00.000-08:00

So just a few updates as to what's been shakin' down here:

• Another day, another rape... Memphis is like that. Come for the BBQ, stay for the violence.
• Going to England from January 6th through 12th. Mostly for work, but here's a picture of the pub I'll be staying at:

• Turns out, when I do a Google search for my name, it shows me "Bob Stickel, photographer of nude males." Safe Search wasn't on...
• A speedy recovery wish to K, who underwent surgery to remove 2 discs from his spine. I can imagine how much that hurt.
• The last 3 weeks have been filled with holiday parties. One for work, downtown at Pat O'Brians. One at Helen's, one at a lost part of the country in historic civil-war era cotton field lovin' smallville, one at the barn, and Jenn's work party out at some remote location. I think I'm past them all now.

That's all for now.

Thought for Thanxgiving...

2006-11-16T11:55:00.000-08:00

I like my heretics like I like my turkey...
Burned.

Memphis changed me (I swear it did)...

2006-11-08T16:22:00.000-08:00

This is Angela. She's a very talented stylist. But to understand the point of this post, you must first understand Angela's opposite, her polar force, her Ronin, her anti-avatar... my mother!

My mom was a hairdresser (as they used to call them in that day), and one of the benefits of having a hairdresser-mom is that for my entire life I never had to pay for a haircut. Rarely did I have to make an appointment even. But the process was a give-and-take one. I've been told that I have very difficult hair to work on because it grows 'weird.' So my mother would give me the haircut SHE wanted me to have, while I argued for a different style. I got half-and-half. So when I moved from Ohio to Memphis, mom could no longer cut her lil' son's hair. And her parting words were "no one can cut your hair like your mother." (she would actually criticize the job done by other stylists after I moved out of the house).

Meet Angela. She's not a conservative Catholic. Her arms are covered in tattoos. She's dating an army sniper. Her hair is a different color every week. She has lots of facial piercings. She's great!

Nothing against my mum, but I can't imagine the shock/horror she must be going through reading this (yes, mom reads my blog, so mind your manners you fuckos).

Angela is the best ever. But she's expensive. Mom was free at least...

She said "I know you and you cannot sing" I said "That's nothing, you should hear me play piano..."

2006-11-01T14:34:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day where it really feels like autumn. My dog tried to pee on the largest leaf I've ever seen, but I pulled him off of it at the last second because I wanted to put it on my fridge.
Chickadees are now on the feeders at home. Other birds I've collected: the titpecker, the woodcock, the boob lark.

Mempis is also starting to feel incredibly small. Turns out my friend and massage-therapist knows my stylist, who knows my tattoo guy.

Places I'll be going in 2007: Vegas, England, Indy, maybe Philly, maybe Japan.

Goodbye to: Sher-bear, for now.
Hello to: an increasing amount of really ignorant, self-centered people who call this city home.

Vincent Price made some great, but very gay, movies.

I really need to get back on the DJ gig thing. That was fun.

Saw David Sedaris last month, the Memphis Symphony this month.

Pieces of Eight...

2006-10-10T06:35:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, long time no post. Well, I've been promoted to Director of Marketing so now I'm doing 2 jobs until I can get a replacement for my graphic design position. Yeah, I've been busy.
Anyway, what do you think of this image (above)? Not the background, just the swirly thing.
I'm now back into the swing of blogging, so I should be posting regularly again. Thanks for not abandoning Official Rumors, and if you have, burn!
Drinks at the Celtic Crossing tonite for Sher-bear's going away party.
See you all there.

Hemmed in like a boar between arches...

2006-09-15T13:34:00.000-07:00

Hooray! The Devil is dead, now everyone is free to do whatever they wish.

Oh Mr. Punch, you kill me.

Free coffee is coming for me next week, courtesy of a friend from GENCON. This is good, considering how heavily dependent I am on the stuff.

The weather is starting to cool off (high 80's) and I'm no longer boiling like a bug in bourbon. Of course, with cooler weather comes sleeping with the windows open. And you know what comes with that? Motorcycles. Those annoying kinds that go super-fast and super-loud and sound like an alligator be run through a blender. So one of these obnoxious fucks goes tearing down the street at 1:30am and scares the crap out of me. He should be back tonight, and I'll be waiting. He needs to be fitted for a size .22 suit. Let's dress the man...

This weekend, fun is planned for all. The cooper-young festival in midtown (a hippy-fest of crafts, junk, and home-grown 'music') will see our group, and lunch at Molly's!!! Getting my hair cut with Angela, the greatest pink-n-purple, pierced, tattooed punk stylist in Memphis!

Fantasy football: I'm 1-0!! My team (the Crash Test Bunnies) has a big game this week vs. the Mighty Sock Monkeys, but they're goin' down like a prom date on the titanic 'coz we're 1-0 baby!!!

I'm out.

-b